


Five Centimeters per Second

by datbenik513



Series: The Shadowlands Series [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 04:10:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9367334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/datbenik513/pseuds/datbenik513
Summary: This story, my first fanfic and the second part of the Shadowlands series, was inspired by the fabulous anime "Byousoku 5 Senchimetoru".Now, seven years later, I realize that I should have corrected, re-edited, even rewritten it. I have become a better writer since then - but this story is very dear to me as it is. Please understand and try to read past all bugs and errors and the like. Thanks.





	

I still remember each and every minute of our years together. Clearly, as if I was watching the film of my life. Some scenes of this film fly by in slow motion.  
  
With the speed of 5 centimeters per second.  
  
********************  
  
The very first time I saw you on Hogwarts Express. Ron was trying to impress me by turning his rat yellow using some stupid, self-invented spell. You, instead, took pity on me and repaired my broken glasses in an instant.  
  
The fateful Halloween evening, when Ron and I said again something totally insensitive, you burst out in tears, then you locked yourself in the girls' loo.  
  
The troll Professor Quirrel let into the school, which then chose precisely the same loo you were hiding. Our lives were hanging on a thin hair, like so many times afterwards, but Ron finally knocked the troll out. It was the first time you threw yourself in my arms and I was holding your tiny body as the most precious thing I've ever known, even if I wasn't aware of it yet.   
  
The hours and days in the library searching for any information on the Sorcerer's Stone and Nicholas Flamel.   
  
Our nightly escapade trying to save the Resurrection Stone.  
  
The moment I opened my eyes in the hospital wing and saw you waking over me.  
  
The happiness on your face when Professor Dumbledore awarded 50 House Points to you for the use of your cool logic.   
  
And then, two lonely, awful months with the Dursleys.   
  
********************   
  
Our meeting at Diagon Alley while shopping for our second year. You threw yourself in my arms again and I was so happy to see you   
  
How you and each and every other girl at Hogwarts fell in love with that moron of a Professor Lockhart.   
  
The month spent on brewing - well, you brewing, we watching - the Polyjuice Potion in the abandoned girls' loo on the second floor.  
  
How you were watching over me, spending countless nights in an uncomfortable armchair besides my bed in the hospital wing, during my numerous Quidditch injuries.   
  
Your disastrous mistake taking a cat's hair for Millicent Bullstrode's resulting in weeks at the hospital wing where we visited you every single day.   
  
The news you, just like the others, were petrified. I felt I was losing ground from beneath my feet. I would sit days, days in a row besides your bed, just like you used to, reading something, talking to you, or just holding your stone cold hand.   
  
The joy at the Farewell Feast at the end of the year, when I saw you walk into the Great Hall, after being cured with the Mandrake Draught. You shook hands with Ron but hugged me as if never wanting to let go.   
  
And then, again, two dreadful months with the Dursleys.   
  
********************   
  
Your birthday present to me, a Broomstick Servicing Kit. How many times I read your letter enclosed, drinking every word of it.   
  
The day you bought that monstrous cat, Crookshanks!   
  
How you made my goggles waterproof using the Impervius charm during that Quidditch match in the pouring rain.   
  
The long evenings discussing Sirius Black and his reasons for willing to kill me.   
  
You turning in my new broom to McGonagall. Now I understand your reasons for it, but then I wouldn't talk to you for weeks.   
  
How you were trying to save Buckbeak from being executed and how distressed you were when Hagrid's appeal was denied.  
  
Then we were watching the execution and you were crying. I always hated to see you cry. Sometimes you had problems I couldn't help. Sometimes I was the problem myself.   
  
The adventure with the Time Turner. An encounter with Animagi, werewolves, dementors and myself.   
  
The moment when my world turned around - when I found out who Sirius Black really was in the Shrieking Shack.   
  
That flight on Buckbeak's back, you sitting behind me holding onto me for your dear life, and the rescue of Sirius.   
  
And then, back to the Dursleys.   
  
********************   
  
Luckily, I was "rescued" from the Dursleys pretty soon that summer.  
  
I remember the horror at the final of the Quidditch World Cup when the Death Eaters attacked the camp and we all thought we'd die that night.   
  
The start of the Triwizard Tournament, when the Goblet of Fire spit out my name as the fourth champion. You were the only one who hadn't turned your back on me thinking I was a fraud, when even Ron, my very best friend hated me.   
  
The champions' tent just minutes before the first task where you had sneaked into. As I held you in my arms I saw how much you were afraid I might get hurt, how much you cared about me.   
  
Your continuous nagging about getting to the solution of the second task. I didn't dare admit I'd had absolutely no clue what to do with that bleeding egg, but tried to keep up my moral - and yours.   
  
The disastrous Yule Ball, when I understood you'd had feelings for Ron; otherwise you wouldn't have been so upset that he hadn't asked you. As for me, I was a complete mess when it came down to girls, I'd had no girlfriends before, so I wasn't sure what I felt was jealousy or something else.   
  
The preparations for the third task, again countless hours in the library, empty classrooms, where you taught me maybe hundreds of charms, some I already forgot, but the most I still can perform with eyes closed. The reassuring feeling of your warm hand on mine, when I was already ready to give it all up.   
  
The meeting with the nemesis itself, Cedric being killed and Voldemort resurrected. When I brought back Cedric's body from the graveyard in Little Langleton, I was lying upon him as if still willing to protect him from something. When I looked around it was you I saw first. There was such pain etched on your beautiful face when you realized what had happened.   
  
The realization that I felt jealous when Krum kissed you goodbye as the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students departed. And again, I said nothing as you were, albeit for a short moment, definitely happy.   
  
And then, to bury this feeling, that time I was happy to get back to the Dursleys.   
  
********************   
  
Hardly a month passed and I saw you again at 12 Grimmauld Place. You had thrown yourself onto me in a hug that nearly knocked me flat.   
  
The attack of the dementors and the following hearing at the Ministry, the anger, the nightmares, the visions. Those days, weeks were kind of blurred, I clearly remembered the pain, nothing else.   
  
Days of laughter and fun, as we cleaned out the house from the dust and darkness. Little did we know some time later we would call this freaky place "home". When our hands brushed each other, both of us would flush red, mumble something and pull back. Still, our hands would touch quite often and the unspoken question was: by mistake? I felt we were slowly, very slowly growing together. With the speed of 5 centimeters per second.   
  
DADA with Umbridge, the toad. Your idea of DA. Back then we had no idea it would really come in handy, and not just once!  
  
Our lessons in the Room of Requirement. You were picking up all those charms and jinxes incredibly fast, you had problems only with a corporeal Patronus. Our hands were touching quite often again as I was correcting your wand movement but you would pull it away.   
  
The last DA lesson before Xmas. You, Ginny and Ron were the last to leave the Room of requirement I saw a strange glance in your eyes when you left, I did not understand if it was disappointment of approval whereas Ginny's face radiated pure hatred towards Cho.   
  
Valentine's day and my disastrous date with Cho. I was rather untactful to her. She misunderstood me so she left, but at least I could spend the day with you even if it was not a full flavoured date.   
  
Then, as darkness was closing on, Umbridge took the school over. You played a wonderful trick luring her into the Forest.   
  
The moment I will never forget myself. Falling into the trap of Voldemort, I pulled you all into our most dangerous adventure to date. My stupidity led to Sirius being killed and Dolohov's nonverbal curse almost took you away from me. Ron almost lost his mind. Tonks spent weeks in St. Mungo's, and all because of me.   
  
And with this feeling of guilt I headed back to the Dursleys.   
  
********************  
  
A couple of weeks went by and I was again "rescued". We spent the rest of the summer at the Burrow and to my horror my thoughts of Ginny replaced my thoughts about you.   
  
Then we returned to Hogwarts and life became hell again. Luckily, without the dreadful Potions lessons of Professor Snape. On the contrary, I became rather "acquainted" with Potions courtesy of the Half-blood Prince. If your looks could kill ... I would have died horrible deaths every time my Potions surpassed yours ...  
  
Shortly afterwards we all got buried in our tiny little "love affairs". Ginny hooked up with Dean. Ron was extremely pissed about his little sister snogging in public. I was pissed about her snogging with someone else but me. You were pissed because Ron still wouldn't have the guts to hook up with you. Everybody's fine, right?   
  
Then we had another row because you thought I'd spiked Ron's drink with Felix Felicis. One thing led to another and before we knew Ron was taking anatomy lessons on Lavender. I could clearly see this had pushed you to the maximum and you were facing a breakdown, but I couldn't help you. Even being miserable as you were you still was thinking of saving me from Romilda Vane's love potion.   
  
The first time in your life the Hogwarts Library failed you when you were trying to read up on Horcruxes.   
  
Things were turning dark again when Ron was poisoned on his birthday. When he woke, the first thing he said was your name. Soon he dumped Lavender but somehow you two still haven't gotten together.   
  
Ginny and I have, though, and I thought I was in heaven. Some say the memories of your first love stay with you throughout your entire life. Only now do I understand Ginny was actually my second love.   
  
Shortly afterwards I took off with Professor Dumbledore to retrieve a Horcrux, and at the same time Hogwarts was being attacked. If for nothing else, I still have to thank Destiny to have passed that Potions book on to me. This book was the only reason my potion earned that vial of Felix Felicis from Slughorn which in fact saved your lives during that attack.   
  
After the funeral, I knew it wouldn't be long before I'd have to meet my fate so I did what I had to do and broke up with Ginny. I envied Ron still having you but we still enjoyed our last golden day of peace before I returned for the very last time to the Dursleys.  
  
********************   
  
And then ... year seven. I knew you hated to fly. I knew you were fully aware that you had a pretty good chance of being killed, still you volunteered for Operation Decoy Potters.   
  
Your tears when you told us how you'd safely hidden your parents by giving them false identities and the idea of moving to Australia.   
  
The wedding of Bill and Fleur. The horror at the news of the Ministry being taken. The moment you became my - and Ron's - guarding angel as you Apparated away with us in the middle of the mayhem.   
  
Hiding at 12 Grimmauld the whole August. Again you are the brain as you make up the plan of breaking into the Ministry to retrieve the locket from Umbridge.   
  
It wasn't until the Hogwarts Express left without us that you realized there was no way back.   
  
The narrow escape from the Ministry and the months of hiding, hunting, and being hunted began.   
  
Ron left us and you lost ground. You would cry days in a row. It was the first time we shared a bed. You curled up besides me on that awful camping bed and finally managed to get some sleep. That was the last time I watched Ginny on the Marauders' Map.   
  
Christmas Eve brought an emotional visit to Godric's Hollow almost resulting in a spontaneous meeting with Voldemort. You were again saving my ass by Apparating us away in a free fall. Alas, my wand was broken and I snapped at you, making you cry again.   
  
The reunion with Ron as he saved my life when I was drowning in that forest lake.   
  
Our narrow escape from the Lovegoods and again it was you who got us out of trouble.   
  
Then we were caught by Snatchers and taken to Malfoy Manor. Bellatrix tortured you but Ron went on a kamikaze mission to save you before she could do anything irreversible. Dobby saved the day and the Golden Trio giving his own life for us.   
  
Our break-in to Gringotts and the recovery of yet another Horcrux on the first day of May, when things sped up.   
  
Then we fought and suffered; many were hurt and some were killed as the Great Battle unfolded.   
  
The moment I understood who the most important person in my entire life was, when I was killed by Voldemort. Then I thought I saw Ginny as the Killing Curse entered my body. Only in the limbo have I understood it was you because Dumbledore pointed it out to me. I wanted to see Ginny but in reality it was your face.   
  
From the blur of the pictures during the Battle another one arose: Beatrix duelling you three at once. I wanted to help you but my nemesis was waiting for me. Molly Weasley was faster than I.   
  
The last duel with Voldemort, and again your face is the only thing I see. The Elder Wand flying in the air, Voldemort falling on the floor, dead, with a loud thump. I turn to you, smiling, you throw yourself onto me again, crying and laughing at the same time ... and we kiss for the first time. Our hearts beating together, it's the only noise to be heard in the Great Hall. Ron is silent, his face pale, Ginny on the verge of tears. Then a sudden roar as the whole school, students and professors alike, gathers around us, cheering, congratulating. Hagrid's gentle tapping dislocates my left shoulder but I don't care. I go up to Ron, apologetically look into his eyes. He doesn't answer my eyes first, but I pull him into a fierce hug and tell him he is my best friend and always will be and that I am grateful for his support. Then he hugs me back and says that I should take really good care of you. Then I have to see Ginny, she breaks down and sobs silently into Molly's shoulders. I turn her towards me, with my thumbs wipe away her tears while I feel I want to cry as well and hold her fragile body against mine for an eternity. Then I kiss her goodbye and go back to you.   
  
We Disapparate right from the Great Hall to Grimmauld Place and find a bed and curl up besides each other and sleep, sleep, for what it seems an eternity. We sleep 24 hours in a row and then summon Kreacher for something to eat.   
  
Then I look into your warm brown eyes and see my reflection in them. I understand this was the moment I was dreaming of and ask you very simply: "Do you want to move in with me?" and you answer "yes" through your tears of joy. I feel I'm the happiest man on Earth. We kiss again, hold each other tight, then we get rid of our burnt, sooty, bloodstained clothes and make love, very gently, freely exploring each other's body. We climax together and exhausted, fall asleep again.

Our second life - together - begins here.  
  
The next four months pass by in a haze. Our love grows by the minute and we can't get enough of each other. We wander unexplored paths of physical affection, our bodies and souls mingle together.   
  
We attend funerals, Fred's, Lupin's and Tonks' being the most emotional ones. We make official arrangements for being named godparents for Teddy and spend a whole lot of time with him. We attend trials of Death Eaters and receive the Order of Merlin together with Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville, the latter three for organizing and leading the Hogwarts resistance. We spend some time in the Burrow and help with its reconstruction and things with the Weasleys get normal again.   
  
We visit your parents in Australia and you reverse the memory charms on them. We spend the whole of August there, in Sydney. Lightning strikes when we hear they won't be returning to England, they've gotten fond of the life and climate, they have a flourishing practice they don't want to lose.   
  
Upon return to London we get owls from McGonagall about our options for our seventh year and from Kingsley about our career choices. I immediately accept Kingsley's offer to start Auror training and you opt for going back to school to finish your education, meaning you will be in the same class where Ron, Ginny and Neville are. You are made Head Girl and as a special privilege you are allowed to leave grounds for the weekends. I am appointed part time DADA teacher and every Friday I give classes for all sixth and seventh-years. Needless to say, seventh-year Gryffindor classes turn into parties and storytelling, as this is the last class on Friday, we Floo directly home as the bell rings.   
  
Home. A place you call your own, a place you share with the one you truly love.   
  
19 September, on your birthday, I propose to you and give you my Mum's engagement ring. We agree to have our wedding as soon as my Auror training ends. As I was freed from certain parts of the training, it won't take three full years, only two instead.   
  
This is where our third, independent life begins.   
  
The training is tough and exhausting and on several occasions I land in St. Mungo's, increasing the number of scars and bone breaks I've suffered. During combat training a rather nasty jinx of Robards hits me directly on the spot Voldemort's second Killing Curse did, rendering me unconscious for two weeks. The pain never leaves afterwards, even after I'm declared healthy.   
  
Being away from you four days per week is tough. We spend all our weekends together, either at Grimmauld Place, or at the Burrow, where we are still welcome, no matter what has happened and we try to spend some quality time with our godson. He calls us Mama and Papa, each time causing tears as we remember his parents: our fallen mentors and friends.   
  
Just a few days before Valentine's Day you and Ginny are kidnapped from school. The whole DA are searching for you together with the Aurors. Finally, Ron has a wonderful idea to call for Kreacher. When we got engaged, Kreacher has bound himself to the future Mistress of the Noble House of Black, so he is able to find you easily and takes me and Ron to the place where you are held captive. Two of the thugs - later all identified as sixth and seventh year Slytherins - are killed by my spontaneous outburst of magic triggered by my rage. Later the Wizengamot clears my name from the murder charges, but I resign as a Professor. I killed two of my own students and the others are simply afraid of me. I can't seem to live with the guilt. You and I have a long talk then - I never suspected you knew so many four-letter words - but I agree with you and in the coming weeks, months try to shake off that everlasting sense of guilt I was famous for. Ron, Luna and Ginny take over my classes each doing his own part: Ginny teaches offensive spells, Ron combat tactics and techniques, Luna defensive spells.   
  
The Hogwarts Graduating ceremony is held 30 June. You radiate happiness as you receive your diploma cum laude from McGonagall. The old herring hugs you - rather unexpectedly - and multiple tears are shed by both of you. Ron and Ginny, Neville and Luna, Seamus and Dean, Cho and Lavender, the whole gang together, for the last time. A party is in place and we get some guests as well. The whole Weasley family with wives and girlfriends including a very pregnant Fleur, a very much changed Dudley and a very teary aunt Petunia.   
  
The next morning, still with the hangover of the size of Grawp, you are packing because you are leaving for the summer for Australia. 27 owls arrive; 26 different job offers for you in various organizations, the last one, from Kingsley, is addressed to me. The cunning old fox gives me a two-month assignment, in which I am to give combat training for the Auror students of the Australian Ministry of Magic in Sydney. I - we - can't be thankful enough to him. We enjoy the reunion with your parents - actually they get hurt when I call them Mr and Mrs Granger, so we settle for Mum and Dad very quickly - and spend there two wonderful months again.   
  
On our return home our fourth, adult life begins.   
  
You accept one of the Ministry's offers, a Junior Undersecretary position, leading the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. On your very first working day you storm into Kingsley's office, bind him to his chair and tell him you will hand in your resignation if you are not allowed to carry out all the reorganizations within the department you wanted to. The plan of these reorganizations occupies 23 1-foot long sheets of parchment. Poor bloke can do nothing but agree, sitting at the wrong end of your wand. Later you apologize to him, but he admits it's necessary to have some real changes in the Ministry and hugs you.   
  
I resume Auror training and the ten third-year trainees form 5 groups, we include in each group two first-year trainees. I pick Ron and Seamus - both rather unexpectedly sign up for the program and start from second year - and very soon we get our first - albeit not too serious and not too dangerous - real assignments.   
  
You work long days in order to get the reorganizations done and my studies and assignments take the toll on us as well. We don't see each other as often as we used to, but we always make up time for each other in the weekends.   
  
Our love is blossoming. 7 March, as we are having breakfast, you take your mug of coffee and sit on my lap. You put your hand around my shoulder and whisper in my ears: "Harry, you are going to be a Dad!" I am in seventh heaven. Can it get any better than it is now? I have a place to live, a love to share, a beautiful fiancee to marry soon, and on top of all this a small Potter is on its way.   
  
This is how family life begins.   
  
Shortly afterwards we visit St. Mungo's, the Mediwitch performs a routine checkup and her wand glows pink. Welcome, Lily Augusta Potter. We go directly to an internet cafe to tell the good news to the proud soon-to-be grandmother and grandfather, Augusta and Simon Granger via the videophone.   
  
Joy lasts two more months. Morning sickness is a torture and you occupy the bathroom for an hour every morning. You lose much weight and your Mediwitch prescribes some strengthening potions. Then on June 3, after yet another torturous morning you Apparate to your work but you are too weak and seriously Splinch yourself. Luckily you are found in an instant and taken good care of, but you lose a lot of blood and the Mediwitch cannot save Lily, no matter what she tries.   
  
We both are lightning-struck and dumbfounded. Why us? Why Lily? What have we done to deserve this? You stay two weeks at St. Mungo's until you are declared healthy, I spend these two weeks by your bedside. Then I take you home, try to comfort you to the best extent I can, but it doesn't help and you fall into a deep depression. I take a month off and we go to the Canary Islands to cure our nerves and try to start anew. The sun and sea do miracles to us, and slowly the shadows disappear.   
  
We return suntanned and more in love than ever before - at least I think we are.  
  
The next morning you see me off, as usual, I have to be at 8 am at the ministry, your working day begins at 9 am. You normally would drink another coffee while watching the morning news sitting on our sofa. "See you at lunch" you say smiling, pulling me in a soft and warm kiss and you close the door after me. I Disapparate with a loud crack.   
  
You aren't there at lunch, your colleagues say you weren't in the whole day. You don't answer the phone and my Patronus returns with no answer. Kreacher can't find you either. The only thing we can do is raise a "Missing Person" alarm and wait.  
  
I return home at 8 pm, you are not there. Next day, the day after ... no signs of you. In the evening of the third day I get a phone call from Augusta, she's all in tears, she says you have flown over to Australia to stay with them for a while. She says you are blaming yourself for losing Lily and you are thinking I am blaming you as well. I ask her to put you through but you decline talking to me and break the line. I summon a bottle of Ogden's Old and empty it in an instant. Then a second one.   
  
**I'm always searching for your figure to appear somewhere  
On the opposite platform, in the windows off the street,   
Even though I know you couldn't be at such a place   
If my wish were to come true, I would go to your side right now **  
  
The next day an official owl of the Australian Magical Immigration Office confirms you have landed and registered in Australia and filled an application for permanent residence.  
  
 **I'm always searching for your figure to appear somewhere  
At a street crossing, or in the midst of dreams   
Even though I know you couldn't be at such a place   
If a miracle were to happen here, I would show you right away **  
  
My heart is broken and I lose interest to life. The end of my life begins.   
  
**I'm always searching for your figure to appear somewhere  
In the town at dawn, at Sakuragi-cho  
Even though I know you wouldn't come to such a place  
If my wish were to come true, I would go to your side right now**  
  
I call you numerous times but you still wouldn't talk to me. An owl returns your engagement ring, without any written note whatsoever.   
  
**I'm always searching for fragments of you to appear somewhere  
In a store during my travels, in the corner of a newspaper,  
The new morning, who I'll be from now on  
And the words I never said: "I love you"**  
  
I quit. Everything. My job, my friends.   
  
**I always end up looking for your smile, to appear somewhere  
At the railroad crossing, waiting for the express to pass   
Even though I know you couldn't be at such a place   
If our lives could be repeated, I would be at your side every time   
  
I would want nothing else   
Nothing matters except for you.**   
  
****************   
  
There's only one reason I'm not ending my life, right here, right now.  
  
I still hope that every step I make brings you nearer to me. Very slowly. With the speed of 5 centimeters per second.   
  
Until then, the only thing to remain is remember.

**Author's Note:**

> This story, my first fanfic and the second part of the Shadowlands series, was inspired by the fabulous anime "Byousoku 5 Senchimetoru".
> 
> Now, seven years later, I realize that I should have corrected, re-edited, even rewritten it. I have become a better writer since then - but this story is very dear to me as it is. Please understand and try to read past all bugs and errors and the like. Thanks.


End file.
